The Dark Knight Quotes at the Wrong Time

Thanks to Ajeya for writing his first post on Filmy Zen. I'm expecting many more of his posts to come. Especially on Sci-fi and Action genres.

When I first saw The Dark Knight, I went straight into the IMDb message board to see what the other movie buffs are talking about it. While browsing The Dark Knight's message board, I stumbled upon a hilarious thread which was something like the title of this post: The Dark Knight Quotes at the Wrong Time.

I laughed so much when I was reading some of the posts in that thread. Suddenly, I remembered it today and visited the message board again to find out the thread but I just couldn't find it. Yes, I tried really hard. It just seems like it magically disappeared like how the characters in David Lynch's movies do. Anyways, I remember a few of them and I'm posting it here so that you could have a laugh at these. Post some of yours in the comments section below if you can come up with something clever.

And here... we... go!

Situation 1: You're attending a funeral and everyone's sad and crying. You walk up to one of the closest relations of the deceased and tell him, "Why so serious?"

Situation 2: You're in an examination hall and it's a Math exam. People are busy doing their graphs quickly 'cause there's only 3 minutes left. Your friend looks very nervous and he's about to draw his graph. You suddenly take his pencil from him and shout, "I'm gonna make this pencil disappear."

Situation 3: You're with your girlfriend at a restaurant. You're talking nice with her, you're behaving well, and everything's going fine at the dinner table. Now, the waiter comes in and asks you, "Sir, What would you like to have?" You tell him, "See, I'm a man of simple tastes. I like dynamite, gunpowder, and gasoline." And you continue, "Do you know what all of these things have in common? They're cheap!" After all this, your girlfriend looks shocked. Now, you look at her and say, "Why so seriousssss?"

Situation 4: You're part of a funeral band and you're all ready to play some sad music at a funeral. When your band members are just entering the funeral, you announce the crowd, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight's entertainment."

Situation 5: You're in a crowded restaurant with your girlfriend (If you're a girl reading these, substitute accordingly). And they are playing heavy music. Your girlfriend says, "Can't we go someplace quieter? We can't hear each other talk." To which you reply her, "What makes you think I want to hear you talk?"

Situation 6: Your manager comes to your desk and explains you about this very difficult problem that the customer is facing. He asks you to go at the customer site and fix the issue. To which you reply, "This isn't part of my job description."

Situation 7: You jumped a red light and the traffic cop catches your vehicle. He asks why you jumped the signal. You tell him, "You have all these rules and you think they'll save you?"

Situation 8: Your are driving very fast and you hit a guy's bike who's waiting at the signal 'cause of the red light. He's totally pissed off and before he starts to shout (abuse?) you, you say, "This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object."

Situation 9: You are caught again for jumping the red signal. The traffic police is so tired of catching you and penalizing you again and again that he asks why you would do such a thing. You reply him, "This city deserves a better class of criminal. And I'm gonna give it to them!"

Situation 10: You're attending another funeral. Everyone's angry at you for making such a rude statement at a previous funeral and expecting you to behave yourself this time. You go to one of the dearest ones of the dead, like you did before, and tell him, "He (the dead one) was a nice man. He made everyone laugh when he was alive." Everyone at the funeral seems to be pleased with your behavior. Now, you announce the crowd, "I want to do something here for the dead man." Everyone's eagerly waiting for your reply. You shout, looking at the dead, "Let's put a smile on that face."

That's all I can remember. I made up some of them on my own. So, did you laugh? Did you at least enjoy? Can you think of something more cleverer than these?